I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
