he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
