what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize