you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
