this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
