Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.