I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind