I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man