i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
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i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
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No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome