my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
