I hope mine doesn't look like that
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
