Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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