Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
