the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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