i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
