meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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