I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
even my farts smell like vagina
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
