I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
