i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
