If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
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You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
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The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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