I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
