I feel like abortions should bother me more
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
