omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
