My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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