i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
