other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
