dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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