I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
