He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
