Me. At least after what I've been through.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
you will always have a special place in my vag
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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