it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
