when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
