What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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