Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
