Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
