There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
