she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize