Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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