how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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