i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
