You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
