drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i barfeds in our rink
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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