I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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