Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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