No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
