No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
