No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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