There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
