I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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