Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
