I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
