Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
