Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
