So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
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Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
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Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!