How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
