So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
