we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize