and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
false alarm. still invincible.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
this hospital has no fireball
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
