He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
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