My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
