I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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