I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize