the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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