Porn is love you can see.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
