your room smells of hookers.
And success
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
