Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Boobs are out for the taking
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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