I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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