I heard we made out
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
